What About Disappointment?
February 9, 2018
The formatting for this web blog states, "Your great blog begins here..." Normally, that is the approach I take to writing, but what if your blog post isn't so great—what if it's about disappointment instead? I'm 'fessing up.
I've developed this Set Design Workshop, and have been marketing it within my community as an after school activity, and the responses have been either nil, or "Okay, it's happening" followed by "Nope, it's not happening." I have tried three or four different ways to get students interested in what I'm offering, and while I'm coming closer to a success, the class has yet to happen. And so, disappointment sets in.
This feeling is, by no means, the end of the world. It's a temporary state of mind that settles over me for awhile. I've learned to adjust my expectations to reality and try again. At a younger age, I would have felt like such a failure. All those hurtful voices in my head chiming up at once that my idea isn't a good one, or that I shouldn't have tried to do this, or that no one wants to learn anything from me. Thanks for sharing, voices, but give it a rest so I can figure out my next move.
The thing about putting myself out there, trying something new and untested, is that I'm bound to run up against failure and disappointment. My plans don't succeed sometimes, that's just life. It's inevitable, and it's a vulnerable place to be, but I don't get anywhere by not trying.
Frustration is also another big feeling that wants to pull me down. I thought the class was a go this time—just three short hours on a long holiday weekend. I did my planning, got my supplies together and adjusted my curriculum. But wait, I forgot to confirm with the client and, sure enough, no one showed up. Ugh, all that work for nothing? "No," my determined self says, "it WILL happen and I'll be that much more prepared next time."
It takes energy to stay positive, to keep disappointment right-sized in my head. I need perseverance to discover a different way to solve this problem. I know that if I don't give up, I will find students interested in learning more about art and design. Something's got to happen, so I'll just stay tuned for when. I'll lean on my support system when I falter. Stay close to the friends, family, and community that cheer me on. They have faith in me. I'll try to have faith again, too.